Learning to Serve

For those who are reading my blog I must apologize for the long gap in posts. Life has definitely been throwing curve balls my way, which is part of the reason why I have to share with you the two things that I have seen that have shocked me to my core. Now to clarify many may not find what I find shocking shocking, and that is ok.
On my way to work each day I drive through a part of town that is definitely not the safest place. I never stop to get gas when I am driving through and I try to always drive as fast as I possibly can. I know that this is something I need to work on and I can honestly say that I am embarrassed to share it at all but it is what drives home my point...well both my points.
My first part of the story is this.. Last Monday I got caught at the red light right in the middle of this area of town and there is a homeless man that I always see on the corner but never have had any interactions with him until this morning. On Monday when I got stopped at this red light he came over to my car, when I didn't wave him over, of course the paranoia and judgement in me kicked into effect. When he got to my car he began, to my surprise, to wash my windows. I rolled down my window and explained to him that he didn't have to do that especially since I regrettably had no cash to give him. He shrugged me off and kept cleaning them. So of course you can only imagine how bad I felt when he was done and I had nothing to give him so I rolled my window down and told him "thank you". The homeless man's response is what got me, "You just have a good day at work, OK?" I was more shocked than I have been in a very long time. So many questions running through my head, how can someone who has nothing be so kind, why wasn't he upset with me, and how can he be so nice in such a bad area? These are the judgments that I have made against a man that I do not know. To imagine that he is a certain way, and more so that those in this area are a certain way, before ever even having any interaction is in my mind just disgusting but this is what people today do and don't even give it a second thought.
While the whole interaction with the homeless man still hadn't left my mind, on Thursday morning on my SAME route to work I get stuck at the same light and look ahead across the street to see a man standing on an island in the middle of the road praying and praising God, with his hands held high he jumped and sang to God. I couldn't help but to stare at this man and wonder what it was that God was trying to show me at this point. How is it that there are people like this in such an area of town, an area that I wouldn't stop in even if you offered me money? And then I remembered Mark 16:15- "He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation." Sadly my thoughts were if only it were that easy. How I let fear run my life all of a sudden has been brought to the front of my mind.

We All Have To Start Somewhere

There are times when you just need someone to talk to, someone to run your ideas by and then there are times that you just need to reflect. Every once in a while I find myself unable to discern the difference between the two and I realize now how very dangerous this can be. I have always found it so comforting to be able to share my thoughts with someone else and have them bounce back and forth ideas with me, however; I have recently come to realize that my comfort in this area could also be my weak spot. When God wants to speak to me about something or through someone there are times that I need to just trust that he will show me what he wants but when I allow humans opinions to be the only ones that I ever seek this can cloud my judgement. I have found myself for years seeking the approval of those around me, always wanting to blend in like a chameleon. I believe that I am not alone in this and that many people are like this as well. I have felt recently that it is time that I start to share who I really am to those who want to hear it, I feel as though God has blessed me in many ways over the years and is teaching me who I am without the chameleon aspect of it. It is no longer about who people want me to be but about who HE wants me to be.
So all that to say this... I have created this blog to reflect and share. I am hoping that God continues to test me, grow me, guide me and most of all use me...no matter what. To all that join me on this adventure I can promise you that every post will always prove to be interesting. 
Trusting in God always!